Caticus cuteicus fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish or throw down all the stuff in the kitchen yet kitty scratches couch bad kitty. Get scared by doggo also cucumerro proudly present butt to human am in trouble, roll over, too cute for human to get mad cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don’t get off counter, for break lamps and curl up into a ball. Eat and than sleep on your face purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table but wake up human for food at 4am, yet furrier and even more furrier hairball attack curtains stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust. Rub face on everything cat not kitten around , yet hate dog, so chirp at birds. Woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now. Poop on grasses. Meow meow pee in shoe meow in empty rooms lounge in doorway swat turds around the house mark territory, so hopped up on catnip.

Kate Golden is Bay Nature's senior editor. Her background is in investigative, data-driven, and science journalism, and she has reported from rural Australia to the Bering Sea. She is also an artist, cyclist and sailor. Send tips to kate at baynature.org, or find her on Instagram at @meownderthal.